Monday, 2 July 2012

Three Months!

Hot on the heels of yesterday's post about not having written for three weeks I've woken up to the realisation it is now three months since I left my "proper job".

Time flies when you're having fun - guess I must be having lots lately as no idea at all where that's gone.

Someone said to me at the weekend "would you rather be doing this - or back at (insert name of place I used to work...)?"

The answer didn't come easily, "oh this for sure" didn't trip off my tongue as if this was what I was born for. I had to stop, think, consider, and reply hesitantly.

The issue being I'd have preferred to have had the choice. Some might say it can take having circumstances thrust upon us to shift us out of our comfort zone and into new adventures. Others might point to my control freakery and say "well you would, wouldn't you?"

Personally I would have preferred not to have gone through the agony and angst; the uncertainty and indecision. I'd have felt happier knowing that leaving the security and friendships that had built up over eight years was my decision. And it would have been good to plan for that properly, to prepare for the next chapter and to grieve for the last one.

All of which isn't to say that those things didn't happen - the planning, preparation and grieving. But being thrown into the situation escalated everything, contracted the timeline (Is that a proper expression or born out of hearing a childbirth story on Daybreak as I write...?!) and forced me to make choices quickly.

Or did I ever actually make those choices? Looking back when did I decide to "be" a writer and cake maker? Let's not go there or my inner control freak will rear her ugly head and we'll be back where we were!

No picture - have to be a cake then....did I already post these?


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