I've been thinking - and praying - hard about whether or not to go ahead with more surgery. Re-reading my last blog now I sound quite matter of fact about it - Mr Tucker says more surgery, so more surgery it is. But now I'm not so sure.
His reassurance that it would only be an hour or so in surgery, five days in hospital, and back to work in four to six weeks may seem okay in the light of all that happened last year. But presented with that news wouldn't most people hesitate - even for a moment?
So - starting to think about things in a different way now. Rather than how can I get rid of the pain, how can I live with it? Rather than stress about all the things I cannot do why not see how much I can? Rather than try and reduce or live without painkillers why not accept they do the job and knock them back with a smile?
I've yet to convey this change of direction to Mr Tucker, and at the moment I'm only taking faltering steps along this new road to see where it takes me. But watch this space and in the next post I fully intend to explain how it came about. But the distraction that was Gary Barlow has now been joined on Xtra Factor by the rather cute Olly Murs so that may be a while.
Oh - for those who have no idea who I am talking about (and those who do...) here are the gentlemen in question ;-)