What a difference a day (or two) makes

Good news. The worst of the withdrawal symptoms appear to have abated. No longer lying in sweat soaked sheets shivering, aching, unable to sleep and constantly vomiting. Diarrhoea has subsided, headache almost gone and slept six hours last night...

Even better news... Went for my twelve week check with Mr Tucker this afternoon. X rays show a good correction (along with every one of the fourteen two and a half inch screws!) but a bit early I think to see if the bones are fusing (apparently that appears as a "haze").

Mr Tucker asked what painkillers I am taking and when I told him was astonished. "Is that all?" being his reaction. He did ask me if I had gone "cold turkey" and his face was a picture as he clearly knew what that would have meant for me. I hastily explained I would always have opted to get it over with quickly rather than drag things out over several weeks or months, but accepted it is not what he would have advised :-)

And so - it's okay to have a bath - hoorah! To swim - how good will that be! Not to wear the brace - Hallelujah! And I can even drive - a miracle! Only restriction now is no heavy lifting, and obviously to listen to my body and not overdo it or my muscles will "scream".

Home now - cleaned out the bath with Dave's help (no one has used it for three months - the boys all like to shower...) and cannot wait to fill it with fragrant warm water and soak in the bubbles. Alas that is not to be just yet as Ian does need to be in the house in case I get stuck!

Will go for a swim tomorrow - hopefully. There is a warm pool next to the hospital in Stanmore which is heated to 32 degrees especially for spinal patients. And may just have a little glass of wine to celebrate all of this too.

In many ways this seems a better place to leave this blog. I'm signed off for another month which will be spent exercising, building up my muscles and strength. There's a lot to be done in terms of building up my confidence too - you don't go through something like this and emerge unscathed - or maybe you do but I didn't. It's knocked me quite simply for six and it will take a while to be the person I was. Or maybe I won't be that person but someone different - our experiences make us the person we are and this has to be up there with the big ones.

I'm pleased I kept this blog - I still haven't read it myself and think I probably need to sit myself down with that glass of wine and a box of tissues and do so slowly, carefully, prayerfully. Thank you to all those that have read it and shared the journey, who have commented or contacted me after reading, and who have held me in your prayers and thoughts over so many weeks.

I've re-discovered a real passion for writing and when I stopped this blog a few weeks ago continued to keep a journal which will I think be part of an ongoing journey of self discovery for many more weeks, months or even years to come.

I feel I am about to enter rambling mode so will finish now with, yet again, my love and thanks to you all.

Linda xx