Sunday

Sunday morning. Murray vs Federer. I was wondering if they were as nervous as me. Guess by the time people arrive here for tea later the match will all be over. Wish my little adventure would be over that quickly.

I've not blogged for a bit - the words and posts have been in my head but getting it all out has seemed like too much of an effort. Not only that - I can see the number of "followers" growing (thank you) and I have got so many lovely emails and texts and calls and visits that I know you are all reading, so I feel something of a need to edit the words in my head before they reach my fingers and the keyboard.

Dave is poorly - he has a bad throat, and I can feel myself starting to come down with it. This could be disastrous in terms of the surgery date so please all those of you that pray and send positive thoughts what I need is for the First Defence to work and to fight this off.

We're expecting friends for tea today and I cannot wait to see everyone. But I am not sure how I will cope with all the emotion. I cry - a lot - at the moment. Everything upsets me. I physically shake, my heart pounds, I break out in cold sweats (think I mentioned those before) and I absolutely panic and think I cannot go through with it all. And then I cough and can't breathe or forget to take ibuprofen and the pain kicks in and I think there is no way I cannot go through with it.

Still so much to do - lots at work to finish up and handover, lists to write for the family back home. Phone numbers, emails, who to call, how to update the blog. Busy busy busy. Orthodontist tomorrow to see if a fixed retainer is possible to stop my teeth moving back (interesting fact by the way - many of those I know with scoliosis also have small mouths and crowded teeth that insist on crossing over...).

Probably better to be busy than sit around and dwell on things too much.