Saturday, 20 February 2010

A Tough Day

On reflection today has probably been the toughest day so far.

I didn't sleep - but nothing new there. Unless things change dramatically I may ask for some sleeping tablets when I speak to my GP on Monday. Not a road I wanted - or want - to go down but this can't go on any longer. The painkillers - Oromorph in particular - do instil a sense of drowsiness and for a wee while I may drift somewhere over the rainbow. Unfortunately when I open my eyes very little time has passed and it is impossible to describe just how lonely it is staring at the ceiling for hours in the dark!

We've discussed, considered and experimented (as one is encouraged to do in the bedroom!) and the biggest steps forward so far have to be the flask full of hot water, the tea bags and milk sachets now on the dressing table - never has a cup of tea been so welcome as when you didn't think you could have one! Then there is the relaxing music I've imported into itunes - thanks Helen!) Sometimes I sit up and read or blog for a bit - you will have noticed. Generally speaking I try not to disturb Ian who is still having to get up for work in the morning - the time off he had hoped for not having materialsed :-(

The one meal of the day I do have something of an appetite for is breakfast. I guess if you've no appetite and are generally not eating - or sleeping - well than you're likely to wake up hungry. The thing I am finding slightly disconcerting however is what I fancy when I wake up...

I've never been into cereal. The idea of half a pint or so of cold milk on top of cardboard like flakes of bran has simply never appealed to me. Much more likely to grab a banana to eat on the tube - and perhaps a yoghurt. Toast - maybe. But the cereal aisle is somewhere to collect cornflakes and coco pops only.

Nowadays however I am waking up desperate for Weetabix, Alpen, Special K, with fruit, berries, milk, sugar. All very good for me - are my bones craving the calcium? (Let's leave alone for now the need for fruit and fibre...)

Where has this come from? Suggestions on a postcard please! For now though I am going to succumb once more to the sleepy dust fairy and maybe blog again in the night.

Not without a quick Hello and Happy Birthday of course to Nigel and Lee - and more to come over the next few days!
Later x

1 comment:

  1. Hi Linda,
    I can identify with the horribly long nights of insomnia....sleeping tablets are not pleasant (but then neither are most of the other things you're taking) but they can be preferable to an endless lack of sleep, at least in the short-term.
    S x