I've not felt much like blogging lately. Typing is painful - I guess from where I had a rib or two removed from under my right arm - it must have cut through the muscle as well as removing the bone. On the outside it looks to be healing well but who know what's happening underneath? I should find out more tomorrow when I go for my follow up appointment.
Besides, most of what I've had to say recently has been all about the pain and after a while that starts to feel a bit boring and repetitive. But I am determined to keep the blog going for a number of reasons. First of all - it has been five weeks now - five weeks ago this evening we were in that nice Italian restaurant on Doctor's orders! (In fact that makes it five weeks since I have enjoyed a glass of wine!) Those five weeks have gone in a blur and I cannot wait to read back over the blog. Not yet - it is way too soon. But given time I intend to sit down - perhaps with that glass of wine and maybe a mansize box of kleenex - and re-live it all...
Secondly (and I do feel I am repeating myself - sorry!) I have been rubbish at replying to your messages/cards/texts/emails so at least by doing this you can find out how things are going - and recently that has been pretty rubbish - so apologies for the silence elsewhere.
But along with those reasons it's been something to work on with my co-editor Dave - who really must take credit for the Teddy Tales - so it's been fun!
Today was ten times better than yesterday - worth saying that at the outset of this post. Yesterday was just ghastly. The pain was unbearable, with no sense of things getting any better at all. Food tastes nasty, my stomach (oh - call a spade a spade - my bowels :-( ) are agonisingly painful, I couldn't sleep, didn't feel like seeing or even speaking to anyone - generally it was a horrid day and boy did I let Ian and Dave know about it when they got home last night. I think the trigger may have been dinner which whilst it may have been perfectly edible and tasty to some tasted horrid to me. I'm actually starting to feel hungry - more than that though I can see I am losing weight and know that I need good food to help the healing process. When everything tastes awful this is a real challenge...
After a good chat about it all we cheered ourselves up with a game of Harry Potter on the PlayStation2, a glass of pomegranate juice and some pitta bread (tasted like cardboard...) and dips. I'd stupidly messed up my drugs dosage and had to go a very loooooooong while with no decent pain relief so let's say it wasn't the best of days.
However today was another day and in spite of everything (but with the aid of a fair amount of oromorph) I did manage to sleep reasonably well and for much of the morning. After which Ian gave me a lift into Rickmansworth and I had a good look around Marks and Spencers for any food I fancy. So tonight it's a delicious looking Thai Stir Fry - here's hoping it tastes as good as it looks!
I'd expected to come back and doze again from the pain instead of which I have sat with a hot water bottle tucked under my right arm and blogged. I've even enjoyed Blue Peter! My tummy is rumbling - first time I can remember that for a looooooooong time and rumour has it we're about to have another go on the Playstation!
So - back to see Mr Tucker tomorrow and hoping all is healing well and as it should be. I'm also hoping he may adjust the pain control slightly if that is possible - it would be so good to be pain free if just for a while.
Well - I think I have written enough for one day - thanks all of you who are still listening - I hadn't expected so many of you to still be sharing the journey but really appreciate the fact that you are.
Have a Happy Evening