Pain is shocking - so much so I called up the Spinal Nurse at the Wellington for advice. She's suggested spreading the sustained release morphine tablets through the day a little - to try and keep on top of things. She also reassured me again that it is early days and if absolutely necessary I should take some oromorph rather than sit and cry my eyes out the way I have done the past few days :-(
The reassuring thing about talking to this nurse - Mini - is that she works with the spinal surgeons on a regular basis, rather than being based on a ward. So she has seen it all before and can reassure me that things will get better. Many of the nurses on the ward were familiar with spinal surgery but few had seen surgery quite as huge as this and certainly since coming home every doctor and nurse (as well as friends and family!) that has seen the scars has reacted with amazement ;-)
It's not just the pain though. I feel constantly sick. That may be to do with the drugs, it may be associated with the constipation. Whatever the reason it is horrid, I've no appetite and food tastes pretty horrid. Ian has bought me another dozen "value" toothbrushes along with some mouthwash and the oral thrush seems to be under control - this is just nasty.
I'm not exactly bored - which I find suprising. Someone asked me today what I do all day and the answer is pretty much nothing. I check my netbook regularly and the frequent messages really do cheer me up - I am just sorry I rarely reply. I'm determined to get dressed and do my hair/make up each day - that takes a while. Eating - or trying to eat - is another painfully slow process. I try to go for a little walk, maybe make a phone call. The TV tends to be on in the background and I have magazines to dip into. But it is impossible to concentrate on anything and very few things keep my interest.
I think I have said this before but I look forward to reading this story in months to come so I am determined to keep writing even when - as today - things feel a bit low. Tomorrow is another day.
Night night and love to you all