Sunday 14 March 2010

Mothers Day

Hmmmmm.... not the most flattering photo I will ever post but this is definitely one that needs to be up there for everyone to see! It's Mother's Day, it's just Dave and myself here in the house (well Leo is downstairs of course and Keegan has just stolen my hot water bottle...), and I really fancied scrambled eggs for breakfast this morning.

The whole concept of fancying something (foodwise...) is so unusual at the moment that it does somehow need to be indulged but I confess to having failed as a mother (and wife) in that scrambled eggs are something I have always prepared for the family and to be honest Dave had it in mind to bring me up a bowl of Special K and a yoghurt I think.

However, he is indeed one very special young man and with the aid of the BBC Good Food website he had within twenty minutes rustled up not just scrambled eggs but scrambled eggs with cheese and baby plum tomatoes. Yum. Thanks Dave if you are reading this (and I will make sure that you are later!)

I've not felt much like blogging lately. Someone said to me recently that they couldn't do the whole blog thing because of the way in which you bare your soul to the universe for all to read. That almost throwaway comment made me realise to what extent this blog is not like that, and perhaps that is why I am tired of it.

This will be a record of the journey and I am sure when I come to re-read it I will be astounded. It is of course still a useful way of updating you all with what is going on as I have become worse than ever at responding to emails/texts/messages. But initially I remember using this as a place to talk about how I was feeling - I had several nice emails from people saying that they were sure or hopeful I was finding it therapeutic. That is no longer the case. I'm not comfy sharing some - or most - of what I am feeling just now, the journey is so much tougher, so much more scary than I ever imagined it could be. In fact each day I feel I should write a "hidden" blog just for me (or anyone with a particularly strong stomach or broad shoulders!) I could do that I guess but then again when it hurts so much just to type what's the point in a load of pain just to write down how miserable I am?!

I'll leave it there for now - it is nice that lots of you keep telling me how brave I am and I'd hate to disillusion you! Let's focus instead on the delicious eggs this morning and the scrumptious dinner which Sarah and Paul ("her" Paul as opposed to "my" Paul if I can say that without causing offence to Mr Harrup...?) are cooking here this evening.

And one final thought - I never thought that I would watch the Motor Racing. I'm not sure where they are or who is winning but hey this must come down to showing an interest - I even had the rugby on yesterday!

Happy Mothers Day to everyone out there who Mothers someone, or many people, in any way shape or form. I hope that you feel loved and appreciated.

Linda xxx



















4 comments:

  1. Your friends have strong stomachs and broad shoulders. They will be there to listen if you want to say how miserable you are. They will be there to hold your hand if you do not have the strength to say anything.

    Bravery is not facing difficulty or pain in ignorance, it is knowing it will be difficult and painful and carrying on anyway. Which is exactly what you are doing. Even if you don't think you are brave, we see your blog and know that you are.

    I hope you feel loved and appreciated.

    Wendy x

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  2. Couldn't agree with Wendy more... please please don't write what you think we want to hear. We are reading because we want to support you, so write whatever you feel at the time and we'll think none-the-less of you.
    With love,
    Kerry x

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  3. At the risk of being repetitititive...
    I fully agree with Wendy and Kerry

    Thinking about you lots and thinking lots of you

    Pete

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  4. Dear, dear Linda... nothing new to add to what others have said but I am still thinking of you and hoping that it gets easier for you as the days pass. I am sure it will, tho' that is scant comfort when you're feeling rock bottom. Try to take the long view and hang on to what you see there...
    With love
    Sarah xxx (the Sarah Bennison Sarah, that is!)

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